This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
