Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize