The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
