we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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