I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
