what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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