I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
did i just pee glitter
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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