I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
