she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
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Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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