they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
