Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
