You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
