once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
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Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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