He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
