At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
