my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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