According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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