what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
