I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
