Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
