Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
