Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
