ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
