Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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