Moan for me like Helen Keller
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
