Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
