im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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