He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
