forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
