a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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