it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
