I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
