in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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