hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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