I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
