I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
