Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
