Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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