did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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