forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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