its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I want her autograph on my taint
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
