not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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