What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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