are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
