dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
