why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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