is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
