you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
