I'm lost and stupid without you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
