people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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