If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
