I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
