It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
