I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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