Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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