I could have mohawked her pubes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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