my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have tasted many bathrooms
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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