If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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