I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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