I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
