I wannas sexs uuuuu
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
